In the world of romance, one single rule applies:
Make the woman happy.

Do something she likes and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:


SIMPLE  DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)
But return with beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (+1)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-20)

 
ANNIVERSARY
You take her out to dinner (+2)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+3)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)

A  NIGHT  OUT
You take her to a movie (+1)
You take her to a movie she likes (+3)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'Death Cop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

 
YOUR  PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

THE  BIG  QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) (Yes, you lose points no matter what)
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response  (-20)

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-4000)

Hollywood actress

Paris Hilton's

Latest Clips......

never seen before.........

Please be alone in your room before viewing them

so you would not feel emabarassed any more

Scroll down and hold your breaths....

.

Following jokes are dedicated to sweet memons and for their sweet smiles....

Cheers,

Faisal Memon :)

======================

Memon: Yeh Kaila(Banana) Kaisay Diya?

Shopkeeper: 1rs.

Memon: 60 Paisa Ka Deta Hai?

S.K: 60 Paise Mein To Sirf Chilka Milega.

Memon: Ley 40 Paisay Chilka Rakh Aur Kela Day De

======================

Teacher: jo ander aaney k liye sab sey chota sentence bolega, usey gift milega.

English child: May i come in?

Urdu child: Main ander askta hoon?

Memon child: Achaan?

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A girl speaks to a boy....

Girl: O bhai jaan please rasta do...!

Boy: Tum larkiyan itna confuse kyun karti ho??

       Ya to BHAI bolo ya JAAN  bolo....!

======================

Ek Memon Ko Jin Charh Gaya

3 Din Baad

Jin Khud Aalim Ke Paas Gaya Aur

Bola:

Aalim Sahab!

MUjhe Bahar Nikalo

Mein To Bhooka Hee Mar Jaonga

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Memon Ko Current Laga…

Begum Ne Poocha:

Kuch Howa To Nahi..?

Memon Bola:

Mujhe Chorr

Bahir Jaa Kar Deakh

“UNIT” Kitne Gire Hai.

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Memon At Petrol Pump:

Bhai aadha liter Ka Petrol Dal Do.

Salesman:

Bhai Itna Sara Petrol

Dalva K Kahan Jana Hai?

Memon:

Jana Kahan Hai

Hm To Aise Hi Paise Urate Hen…

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A Memon On His Death Time.

My Wife, Where R U ?

Wife:

Yes, I’m Here

My Sons & Daughters

Ru All Here?

Yes, Papa

Memon:

To Phir Brabar Wale Kamre

Ka Pankha Q Khula Hay ???

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Na ya CHAND hoga na TARAY hongy,

Kiya hum hamesha "KANWARAY" hongy 

Is duniya ma kitno k NIKAH ho gay....

Kiya naseeb ma humare sirf "NIKAH K CHUNWARY" hongy

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Bhool kar bhi kisi ko na rulana,

Zindagi ma sabko hasana,

Dushman ko bhe galy lagana,

Phir bhe koi ghum day to 0900 78601 pa phone lagana

"TAPKA DENGE SALAY KO"

=======================

Welcome Tourist We Spik Inglish

Hope Mr. Bean will not mind it :)

Old one but a lesson :)

Visual Alaram

Completely Silent

Wake up without disturbing anyone else

Great for deaf or hearing impared

Makes a great gift

This is a clothing label from a small American company that sells their product in France. Here's the translation of the French part of the label.

Wash with warm water.
Use mild soap.
Dry flat.
Do not use bleach.
Do not dry in the dryer.
Do not iron.
We are sorry that Our President is an idiot.
We did not vote for him.

Comments:  True. The label appeared on several tote bags and laptop cases manufactured by Tom Bihn, an American company located in Port Angeles, Washington. According to the Tom Bihn Website, its labels are printed in French as well as English because the products are sold in both the U.S. and Canada.

In addition to the basic laundering instructions, the labels read, in French:

Nous sommes desoles que notre president soit un idiot. Nous n'avons pas vote pour lui.

Which, translated into English, means:

We are sorry that our president is an idiot. We didn't vote for him.

"The 'secret' message began as an inside joke among seamstresses and staff at the Tom Bihn factory," the company's Website explains, "and was apparently intended to poke fun at company's founder and president, Tom Bihn."

The key word is apparently.

"I'm going with the idea that it's a joke about me," Bihn told the Associated Press. But, he added, "clearly when you use the word 'idiot' and 'president' in the same sentence people jump to other conclusions."

Especially when it's written in French.

Awww - this way or that way

Talk Talk - Human shapes direction