Wed 18 Mar 2009
Yeh Document, Yeh Meetings, Yeh Features Ki Duniya
 
Yeh Insaan Ke Dushman, Yeh Cursors Ki Duniya
 
Yeh Deadlines Ke Bhooke, Management Ki Duniya
 
Yeh Product Agar Ban Bhi Jaaye To Kya Hai?
 
Yahaan Ek Khilona Hai Programmer Ki Hasti
 
Yahaan Basti Hai Murda Bug-Fixers Ki Basti
 
Yahaan Par To Raises Hai, Inflation Se Sasti
 
Yeh Review Agar Ho Bhi Jaaye To Kya Hai?
 
Har Ek Keyboard Ghayal, Har Ek Mouse Hay Pyasa
 
Excel Mein Uljhan, Winword Mein Udaasi
 
Yeh Release Agar Ho Bhi Jaaye To Kya Hai?
 
Jalaa Do Ise, Phoonk Do Yeh Monitor
 
Mere Saamne Se Hataa Do Yeh Manager Ki Moorat
 
Tumahaara Hai Tumhi Sambhaalo Ye Computer
 
Yeh Product Agar Chal Bhi Jaaye To Kya Hai?
 
 
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Fri 6 Mar 2009

HRD Notice of a company to employees!

Dear STAFF,

Please be advised that these are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm.

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1) TRANSPORTATION:

It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary.

A) If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.

B) If you drive a 10 year old car or taking public transportation, we assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise.

C) If you drive a Pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

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2) ANNUAL LEAVE :

Each employee will receive 104 Annual Leave days a year ( Wow! Said 1 employee).

- They are called SATURDAYs AND SUNDAYs.


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3) LUNCH BREAK:

A) Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.

B) Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

C) Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.


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4) SICK DAYS:

We will no longer accept a doctor Medical Cert as proof of sickness.

- If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.


***********

5) SURGERY :

As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs.

- You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact.

- To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

***********

6) INTERNET USAGE :

All personal Internet usage will be recorded and charges will be deducted from your bonus (if any) and if we decide not to give you any, charges
Will be deducted from your salary.

- Important Note: Charges applicable as Rs.20 per minute as we have 10MB connection.

Just for information, 73% of staff will not be entitled to any salary for next 3 months as their Internet charges have exceeded their 3 months salary.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience.

Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, consternation and input should be directed somewhere else.

Best Regards,
HRD

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Wed 26 Nov 2008

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a Question........

The driver screamed! Lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, bounced on the pavement scaring bystanders, scraped an electric pole and finally stopped just few centimeters from a shop window!!

For a second everything went very quiet in the cab, and then the driver said grasping for breath said - "Look dear sir, PLEASE don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!!!!!!!!!"

The passenger though a bit confused, apologized and said, " Well - I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much……………………..??

The driver replied, "Sorry sir, it's not really your fault!
Today is my FIRST day as a cab driver - I've been driving a van carrying dead Bodies for the last 25 years!!!

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